T-Minus 4 days!!

Hello!! It’s been a while huh? Lol.

Well Just to let you know, I AM BACK! I am back and I’m not going ANYWHERE! I am just 4 days shy of the New Year, which means DIET TIME! And boy, am I ready for it! {As odd as that sounds} 

These holidays have been super hard for me. I originally wanted to be down about 30 pounds right now from my October attempt at my new diet, but I just couldn’t handle it. 

Dieting over the holidays is pretty much a lost cause. But now that the holidays are over, I am more than ready. Usually I am one who takes my camera EVERYWHERE! To get random pictures with the Hubbs, friends, siblings whoever, WHEREVER! But now that I have gained all this weight,  

I HATE PICTURES! 

I find any way to get out of getting my picture taken. And over the holidays, EVERYONE takes pictures. Everywhere you go there are camera flashes! I’m done diving and dodging out of the way!  

This fed up fat girl is determined! 

I also have 2 weddings to get skinny for this summer!!!

To be completely honest, I haven’t weighed myself since my last weigh in. But the last time I started my diet, I was aiming at a 90 pound loss! {This is where I say “TOLD YA SO” to all the people that tell me that I am not fat. Me succeeding in a 90 pound weight loss wouldn’t put me in an “all skin and bones” contest. I still would have some work to be at my “DREAM BODY” C’mon people, if I have to lose 90 pounds to get to a healthy weight, I DEFINITELY have issues!! So this is me saying “TOLD YA SO!!}

I can’t wait to be skinny…lol, really. 

I have so many things I want to do. Things I want to buy, things I want to wear, and places I want to go! I have a ton of cute clothes that I have saved for the day that I could fit into them again. They are up in my closet. Sometimes I look at them for inspiration. Lol...I’m a geek!

My motto is going to be  

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” 

Because you know its true!

I’m also excited to say that the Hubbs is going to accompany me in a weight loss journey of his own! He only wants to slim down a little and build muscle, which is CAKE compared to what I’m about to attempt!! Well not attempt, but ACCOMPLISH! 
We are going to take before pictures and weekly pictures! {Not sure about Hubbs, but I am.} ALSO I am weighing myself every Wednesday! 
I’m going to start a new thing called
WEIGH MYSELF WEDNESDAY! 
So check back on Wednesdays to see my progress! 
I am going to keep a log daily as well. 
Consisting of what I ate, and how I’m feeling!

I’m really nervous, but I am SO ready. 
I just hope that I can stick with it!

REMEMBER... 

“Nothing tastes as good as SKINNY feels!” 
I’ve got to get that branded in my brain.

I am READY!

WISH ME LUCK!!

FAILED...

Well, I am embarrassed to say that I am going to be putting off my diet till January. I was on the diet for 4 days and lost 3.5 pounds. BUT, I am NOT mentally and physically prepared to be on a diet that is so strict, especially around the holidays. But I will say that I will eat healthy and exercise when I get the chance. I do feel like a failure though, but all I can say is nobody felt what I felt while I was on this diet. After I got sick this morning, which I believe is from the diet, and my emotions, and just not being ready at all, I have decided that I am not GIVING UP on the diet, just simply postponing it till the new year. I have a bunch of reading to do to prepare myself for when the time comes, so come January, I am going to KILL IT. & I will have no holidays to get in my way, except Valentines Day, BUT I will be on a break. The Diet is kind of like the HCG Diet, but with more calories, and no HCG drops. So the schedule is 45 days on 2 weeks off. So I hope that all of my fans aren't disappointed in me. I just feel like I am not MENTALLY ready for a diet like that. But that doesn't mean I am going to eat like total SHIZ till January. Simply smaller portions, no fast food, and no pop.

The first day of the rest of my life.

Hello friends. Its been a little while since I have wrote in this blog, and I have been meaning to write in it for the past few days but we haven’t been home much. But I am writing today to tell you something exciting! And no I am not pregnant. I have been talking to a nutritionist for the past 2-3 weeks and have been attending seminars on weight loss, and I am ready. Today is the last day of my old life, and Tomorrow is the first day of my new and healthy life. That’s right, I am dieting again. But this time I WILL stick with it and get to my goal weight. I have a lot of weight to lose, and I am on a one way track to achieving my goal, and NOBODY is going to stop me. I have realized my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to dieting, and after a lot of reading and mentally preparing, I am doing it. Now I just need some help from everyone else to keep me motivated. I’m starting out with a 1500 calorie diet and exercise whenever I can, and yes cleaning counts lol.
I have put everything behind me, including my failed attempts in losing weight, miscarriages, and negative people. So I am going to enjoy my last day of nasty eating, because from tomorrow till I reach my goal, I am not going to let anything stop me.
I am debating on weighing myself and posting or not, I will probably start doing that when I see some results, so I don’t feel like a freaking idiot. Lol. I have decided that I need to lose weight for a number of reasons, not just because of my health, and my urge to become a mom.
I have become someone that I don’t like. If anyone knows me personally, knows that I absolutely LOVE softball. I have played softball for forever, and now I am quitting my co-ed team because I am embarrassed. I SUCK NOW! Not only do I suck, I can’t run fast anymore, I can’t hit worth of crap, I get tired just running to my position, which is third…a whopping 20 feet away.
I have become clumsy…Like I fall all the time. I am coordinated, and coordinated people don’t do that. But I think my weight throws me off.
I don’t like to go anywhere because of the way I look, nope, no movies, no dates with my husband, no sledding, no picnics, no walks with Titan, no swimming (definitely no swimming).
I am just sick of it. I mean I know that I have self confidence issues, but the only way for me to fix that, is to lose the weight and get in shape. So skinny Jaimie, here I come, I know you have a ton of cute clothes waiting for me when I get there. I look at them every day and beat myself up for letting myself go, but NOT ANYMORE!
Tomorrow I will make sure to blog and tell you how I am feeling on my first day of the rest of my life! :)
Fed up fat girl, signing out!

Back from the dead AGAIN!! :)

Hey everyone...I am indeed back from the dead. Lol. Forgive me for being gone for such a long time, but a lot of things have come up lately. The biggest thing I can’t really talk about, but it was a family crisis/emergency but as of right now everything with that looks great. If you are reading this, I know you can do it. I love you and I am so proud of what you have been accomplishing. On another note, a more sad and depressing note. Tyler and I had another miscarriage, and that is another reason why I haven’t been blogging. I didn’t really want to tell anyone, but I feel it is necessary. I am still really bummed about it, and sometimes get pretty depressed thinking about it. It seems like everyone is having babies right now, and I guess I wanted to be in the crowd of moms-to-be. My rationalized part of my brain keeps telling me that it will indeed happen, but right now is just not my time, while the other part is screaming WHY?! Watching the news, and watching all these horrible mothers, killing and hurting their children makes me want to vomit. All I want is to be a wonderful mom to my children, and every time my journey to motherhood gets cut short. But people continue to have kids, and either neglect them, hurt or even kill them. It’s ridiculous. But I MUST think rationally to keep me sane. So we will just stick with the “My time will come” shpeal. Ok? Ok.
But on a brighter note, something awesome may be in the works, but I am not going to get my hopes super high, even though its hard not to. My friend has had a wonderful opportunity, and has invited me along for the designing ride. Now let’s just hope it all works out. I just can’t help but thinking that this may be my break. So I can fix up my house, get a more reliable car, (preferably a RED Kia Soul. Those are just so cute to me) Pay a couple things off, get my boutique actually going, (You can’t acquire funds without funds spent, and I have NONE lol) finally get the salon in my house, and take my nail class. So keep me in your prayers that all of this goes well.
I have also been doing a lot of thinking of what I want to be when I grow up. I am going to be 23 years old this year and I find it pathetic that I am doing nothing to pursue my career, so in the spring I am going to start going to school, and I can not be more frightened. I feel like a kid going to kindergarten. “What if nobody likes me?” starts popping in my head. I AM SCARED. I want to be a teacher, so I am going to be taking all those classes along with psychology so later on when I finish my 6-8 years of college I can work to help out kids and families. BUT I also want to try Medical Coding, which is only an associate’s degree, so Medical Terminology, Medical Anatomy & Physiology and/or Bio-Med here I come. I am like being pulled in 2 separate directions though, so I am going to have some rough decisions ahead of me. I’ve always thought it would be so much fun to be a teacher and a coach softball or basketball or BOTH! How fun would that be. AND have summers off! How awesome! Wish me luck with that too, because I am positive I will need it.
Here is another thing I am going to do ASAP. I am going to make another blog page, so I will have 3. I know what you are thinking, “You don’t even write in your ONE blog, why would you have three?” I want to separate them into categories. My LIFE blog, My WEIGHT LOSS blog AKA Diaries of a Fed Up Fat Girl, and craft blog, I haven’t come up with a name yet. But I have been doing SO MANY craft things that I need to. Starting a blog has totally brought out the crafter in me, and now I have so many things in my garage that I have gotten/bought that are going to become AWESOME artsy stuff. Tyler calls me a hoarder lol. But I can’t resist things that are $1 that if were painted a fun crazy color, would be the CUTEST thing ever. So I think I am going to do it, and start a crafting blog. No if I can just think of a cute name.
Speaking of crafting...well and my Boutique...Everyone who is having baby boys, I am going to make you something for them. :) I just need to do a little sewing and they will be done. I just don't have a sewing machine at the moment. But I will get them done, because they are SUPER CUTE!!

I also can’t help but think of who is reading these. I only have like 5 followers lol. How pathetic haha… Oh Well..HEY GUYS!!! :)

Havent forgotten about you I promise!!

Hey everyone! Just to let you know I haven't forgotten about you I promise! There are a bunch of things going on right now, I will explain in a few days :) I will tell you what's going on, how California was, and post some pictures! Until then, I will be up in the mountains with my hubby and puppy! Talk to you soon!

"'ello..." "did you just say hello?" "No I said 'ello"

Wow, what a crazy month so far! I’m very excited to say that I have lost 2.5 pounds since I have started over!! YAY! Probably because I have been so sick :/

MY FIRST MELTING POT EXPERIENCE:
Tyler and I went to the melting pot with my sister, her husband, and my younger brother the other night, and I got sick there and started throwing up…NO FUN. Especially when you are eating somewhere THAT expensive. Good thing we had a gift card right? I didn’t even get to eat my favorite part, the chocolate. That may or may not have been a good thing hahah. All in all, I wasn’t too impressed. I mean it was good, but we do fondue around Christmas time and valentines day at my dads house, and we have a lot better menu. The thing I was the most disappointed with was the cheese. My favorite thing about fondue would probably be the cheddar cheese fondue. When I make it, it is the most delicious thing in the world lol. Consisting of sharp cheddar cheese, garlic, mustard powder, Worcestershire, onion salt, and milk. That my friends, is what you call nectar of the Gods lol. But the cheese at the melting pot had like 1 whole can of beer in it…it was disgusting. Even the Swiss cheese was sick, they put brandy in it, and I’m sure usually its good, but this time, wow, you could get wasted just by eating the cheese lol. But I ended up puking it all up so that sucked. But next time I want to have fondue dinner, I will remind myself to just do it at home, it’s a lot cheaper, and its more delicious.

I know I haven’t been posting what I have been eating and all that jazz, but really I haven’t been eating real healthy, just smaller portions. Which really doesn’t say much about how determined I am, but like I have said in my earlier posts, my life has been more than chaotic lately. Tuesday August, 10th Tyler, my brother Conner, and I are going to be driving to CALIFORNIA!! WOOT!

It’s my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary and they rented a beach house in Oceanside! Can I tell you how excited I am for this? I’ve got my nails and toes done, bought a new swimming suit and I am more than ready for a REAL vacation. OUT OF UTAH! I’m taking my awesome camera and I am going to take some AMAZING pictures!! I’m so excited!! The ocean is like 10 feet from the back of the house! I am going to sit my trash in a comfy chair and relax like nobody’s business! I finally got an ipod again and The Jukebox is back in business with almost 3000 songs, Armed with Inception, and Eclipse for the ride down! Oh and don’t forget about The Goonies, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, and Zombieland!!

I think my diet down there will be fairly easy really, we are just taking groceries and cooking with the family, which most of them are on diets I think(even though they don’t need to be), so there ya go! Healthy food all around! And exercising will be a breeze, swimming is a great form of exercise, and I will definitely be doing a lot of that! Swimming is so much! If I weren’t so dang self conscious I would be doing way more of it. On that thought, maybe I should just invest in a swimming pool for my back yard! I could do laps, get a nice tan, and I would be skinny in no time! Haha!

So that’s where I am for now!
I’m going to try and get a few blogs in while I am down there, but I’m not sure how that will go. Tonight we have to get everything packed and ready to go because we are leaving at about 3 tomorrow! I’m so excited!!

Busy Busy..

So the past couple days have been hectic like everything else. I have been so swamped at work, so I have had like no time to blog at all. So I'm going to go back to my old routine and blog at night from now on. Even if I have to blog from my phone or ipod.
I've been doing good and bad lately, kinda in spurts.

Today I slacked and had del taco O_o.

Not good.

Oh and a Dr. Pepper. O_o

It's been really hard. We've been really short on money lately so I don't have all the healthy stuff that I can take for lunch, and to add to that, we don't have a fridge at work any more because the old one died. So even if I had stuff to take, I have nowhere to put it. So if anyone is getting rid of a fridge or anything let me know and I can see if my work will buy it. It sucks. And another thing, my "pregnant mug" (the ones you get when you have a baby, the clear ones with a green lid and green writing.) Yeah I have one of those that I put my water in and ice and stuff, yeah when we were up camping, I had my slimfast in it and I totally forgot it somewhere and when I found it, it was DISGUSTING!! So I threw it away.

What I need to do is get a new mug or something so I can have convenient freezing cold water on hand. Lol.

Tomorrow I am going to take my delicious cottage cheese and crackers lunch. MMMmmmm!

Tuesday, August 10th we are going to SAN DIEGO! WoOt! My grandparents rented a beach house for their 50th wedding anniversary! We're staying till Saturday the 14th! I am beyond excited. BUT...it kinda sucks ya know, I want to be that girl that is comfortable in her swimming suit and not worry about what she looks like. But nope not me. I am so self conscious it's not even funny. But I'm going to do my best to have a good time because I know it's a one time thing. I'm just not excited for pictures..I mean, ever since I've become a fed up fat girl, and my friends take pictures with me and post them on facebook, I make sure that if they tag me, I remove it so nobody can see what I look like. Sad huh? But its really like that, and I'm ashamed of it but I really hate the way I look.

But anyway, I'm trying my best to make everyone proud and make sure that I achieve my goal, even though I have been slacking a lot lately. :)

Till my next post,
PEACE OUT!

-Fed-Up Fat Girl :)

I AM ALIVE!

Just to let everyone know, I am still alive.
I’m sorry that I have been away for such a long time, but everything has been quite hectic! I actually haven’t been doing very well at all along the lines of dieting and exercising. So I am going to start over again. But this time I will make sure that I am doing all that I can to keep everything updated and get going on my goal. With that said, I AM BACK!

I wrote a huge blog post today while I was on my lunch but somehow it got erased! I was so mad!! But here I am trying to remember everything that I wrote earlier. Since my last post I’m happy to say that I haven’t gained any weight, but not happy to say that I am the same weight.

Today I was naughty and I had 2 Dr. Peppers…I know I know, I am SLACKING!

But for lunch I had the most delicious thing. Lol. It’s really simple and probably should be used as more of a snack than a meal, but it’s delicious.

What it is:

1 container of cottage cheese
1 Ranch packet
1/4th cup of grated cheese
Seasoned Salt to taste

Then you eat with Ritz Crackers. YYUUMM!!!!

Anyway that’s what I had for lunch.
Cottage Cheese stuff, and 10 crackers!!

I’m not sure how healthy that is for you but I’m guessing that because it’s cottage cheese its okay, and the ranch packet doesn’t have any calories or carbs unless its cooked it said. So I guess I’ll take that!!!

I really appreciate all the kind words and everything that everyone that is following or reading this blog has said so far! It makes me feel good! Now It's my job to keep up the blogging, dieting, and exercising! I CAN DO THIS! (can't I)

Kabobs to DIE FOR, and a much needed visit from my Mom & Step Dad!

Date: 7-21-2010

What I ate..

Breakfast: Drank some SlimFast

Lunch: Left Overs from last night.

          1 cup of penne pasta

          ½ cup tomato juice

          ¼ cup of ground turkey

          and a little bit of garlic salt

Dinner: Turkey Kabobs (4)

          **wrapped in (DUN DUN DUUUUNNN BACON)

          1 piece of wheat pita bread. (lightly buttered and grilled with Greek seasoning)

Not too bad, but I think I could have gone without the bacon. But it was so good! Let me just say that I didn’t have ANY pop! WoOoO! On another note, it was so nice to visit with my mom. Since I have been married I haven't seen her much, and it was so nice to have her and my step-dad over for dinner! Not to mention my husband is THE GRILL MASTER, and always ROCKS the grill! :) Thanks honey!

But here is another thing…I didn’t get in a workout. We had my mom and step-dad over so right after work I went and cleaned. (Does cleaning wood floors count as a workout? Lol) Then cooked and then we watched a movie. After the movie I totally could have fit in a run or something. But it was dark and I DO live in Ogden, and I didn’t want to get murdered lol. Today though, I am going to take Titan on a walk. But I don’t want to make him sick from the heat so I’m going to have to wait till like 9. 

Hello, what's your name? Negative Nancy? or Debbie Downer?

Just when you think you are on top of things, someone has to come along and smash it into a million pieces. Why do people do that? I don’t understand…I mean I know people have their own opinion, but I could really care less about anyone elses opinion about me blogging about my journey to being fit. If anyone is going to bash me or talk bad about me, go freaking fly a kite and jump off a cliff. I’m doing what I am doing for the benefit of me, hopefully to be an inspiration to every other person who is stuck in this boat. So from now on, if your going to be a Negative Nancy, or a Debbie Downer, you can GTFO and keep your opinion to yourself, because I could care less what you think!

Last night after I posted a link to my blog, the one where I actually put my weight on there (it was hard) Not even 5 minutes later, this person posts this on Facebook. Now tell me that wasn't directed towards me..

WTF right? I'm glad I decided to defend myself, and everyone else that blogs. Oh and another thing..since when is Facebook NOT sitting on the internet, talking to randoms? Kinda hypocritical to me. But OH WELL. I am not going to let that stop me. Watch out fat, I'm coming for you.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their love and support! It means so much to me to know that I am not just talking or writing to myself. If I know that people are listening and reading, I will try so much harder to make everyone proud. I appreciate all the kind words. It makes me feel good that some people care about what I am doing. I've been thinking about trying to get more people to follow this blog. I was thinking maybe a sticker on the back of my car? I want to get out there, and be an inspiration!! :)

Welp here we go.

Okay, here it is.

Date: 7-20-2010

Time: 11:15

Just weighed in and I actually am 7 pounds lighter than I thought I was. Which is a plus. But I still HATE the number that I see.

Starting Weight: 222.5 *GaG*

Goal Weight: 140

Goal Weight Loss: 82.5

I CAN DO THIS!

What I ate today:

Breakfast: Nothing..I know I know..naughty.

Lunch: Tuna Salad & Crackers. 70 Calories
1/2 of a Dr Pepper 75 Calories

Dinner: 1 cup of Penne Pasta
1/2 cup ground turkey
1 cup of tomato juice
1/4 cup of shredded cheese
1/2 tsp of garlic salt
Not sure of the calories. But I'm guessing not over 500.

All in all, I didn't eat as many calories as I should have. But I still need to go shopping for more healthy foods :)

I do feel good though. Usually at this time of the night I am starving and snack, but let me tell you, I am staying strong and I am not going to eat anything after 8:00!
Goals for tomorrow:
*eat breakfast
*NO POP..NOT EVEN A HALF OF A CAN
*get in some sort of exercise

First day of my diet I will say is a success. Now it's time to get some rest and play with my new phone. Thanks for everyone who is reading this. I feel really good about what I am doing and I think that I will stick with it this time! Till next post, this is fed up fat girl, signing off! :) Good night!

Welcome to DIARIES OF A FED UP FAT GIRL Grand Opening!

Hello! Welcome to my new blog Diary of a Fed Up Fat Girl! In this blog I will share with you my most personal information, (*cough my weight cough*) I’m going to list my start weight, and my goal weight, and what I am doing each day as far as meals, and workouts. I am really dreading putting all my numbers out there, but I think that if everyone knows then I try even harder to be an inspiration to the people who are in the same boat as I am. But I would like to say that I am NOT in ANY WAY doing this to please anyone except myself. I know that my loving husband loves me no matter what I look like or what I weigh. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I dropped 85 pounds. ;) I hope that anyone visiting this blog is there to cheer me on as I take my life back, one pound at a time!

Let me tell you a little bit about my weight throughout my life. I came from a family who has never had any weight issues. My mom is tiny and probably weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet, and my dad is small too. My mom is about 5’4 and my dad is 5’9. My brothers and I are meant to be just little things, but I am the ugly duckling. From the time I was born till about 14 I was skinny and fitted in well with my brothers. Both of them look like they could use a few cheeseburgers. (love you guys) Me on the other hand am one cheeseburger way from holy sh*t. Anyway, I have always been way into sports, and have played sports since I was about 6. I started tumbling when I was about 8 years old for about 4-5 years. I learned fast and within a few classes I could do a back-handspring by myself, and just went up from there. Tumbling made me super strong and super muscular. I was a machine. When I got up to a really high level, requiring me to do double backs was right around the time when Mat The Cat broke his neck and was paralyzed. My dad was super scared that I was going to do the same thing. One day I was on the double mini (the trampoline in power tumbling) and I was practicing my pass for the upcoming competition. My pass was branny on double back off. (for those of you who don’t know the lingo, you run and jump on the double mini, do a front flip with a half twist, and when you land that, you immediately do a double back flip off and land on the mat behind the double mini, trying not to take any steps) It’s better to just watch, then you would understand. Anyway, to practice you do what is called a TIMER. Branny on and do just a single back flip off, as high as you can go to prep for your double. I didn’t hear my coach say timer and I went to do my double, and in the middle of the air, panicked and landed on my neck. The very next week I quit. Now I bet you are wondering why I told you that. I blame my quitting tumbling to the downfall of my weight. That is probably the one thing in my life that I regret. After I quit tumbling I started getting tubby. When I got to Jr. High, I played softball and since none of my friends drove, we walked EVERYWHERE! So I was little then. Then I get to high school. All my friends and I shared clothes. While we all wore like size 5 pants, I ALWAYS weighed more than they did. When they were weighing in at like 115-120, I weighed like 140. But we LOOKED the same. So basically I’m a muscly (I know that isn’t a word) girl. So I will always weigh more than what I look like a weigh. Anyways, when I got booted from the softball team my junior year, it sucked. I need sports. I enjoy pretty much every sport, but tumbling and softball are my #1’s. When I couldn’t do either of them, is when my weight started to pack on. My junior year in high school is when I got with my husband. We got together on November 8th 2004 (and have been going strong ever since!!) and you know most girls gain weight when they get comfortable with a relationship. I gained weight like crazy. When I started my senior year I enrolled in Cosmetology school at Stacey’s and graduated the May of 2007. Tyler and I decided to get married the next year on May 31st of 2008, and I knew I had to do something about my weight. I was NOT going to be a heffer for my own wedding. So June 1st is when I went to the doctor and got prescribed Phentermine. The doctor told me that the only reason he would prescribe me that is if I went through a whole lifestyle change. No pop, no fast food. No cheese burgers, no chicken nuggets from McDonalds with sweet and sour sauce and ranch mixed together. Man it was so tough, but let me just tell you, that stuff worked like a champ! And I stuck to my diet because I had determination! My starting weight when I went to the doctor was 197, and by November I weighed 155 (that sounds fat still, but I was in a size 7. What I would do to get there again, wait I’m exploiting my weight for everyone to see. Now that is determination lol) I lost 42 pounds! And I looked good! I mean, I had so much confidence, I was on cloud nine. I was all skinny, planning my wedding, trying on dresses, loving life. Then I got married. *DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN* lol. I stopped taking the Phentermine and BAM! Hello fat, how are you? I gained everything back PLUS SOME! *insert gagging noise here* Now here I am today just over 2 years later and I am DONE being the fat one.
I’m just DONE. I don’t even know how to put it. (this is where I rant on what I hate about being this way)

*I’m so sick of being made fun of.
*I’m so sick of being the fat wife/sister/daughter/friend
*I’m sick of not having any clothes
*I’m sick of ALWAYS pulling my pants up because I don’t try things on before I buy them.
*I’m sick of wearing freaking T shirts ALL THE TIME.
*I’m sick of wearing PANTS. EVEN IN THE SUMMER TIME.
*I’m sick of caring about what people think of me.
*I’m sick of not being able to walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to die
*I’m sick of looking at myself and wanting to puke.
*I’m sick of not being able to wear the things/styles of clothes I want
*I’m sick of thinking that I am just a large, but that still doesn’t fit in some cases.
*I’m sick of my gi-normous boobs, (no humor intended)
*I’m sick of not being able to cut my hair the way I want to, because I’m
afraid of looking even more fat.
*I’m sick putting my career on hold because I’m afraid to go to school.



I’m really actually quite excited to get this blog started! I’ve been telling myself for about a year now that I was going to start working out again and get skinny, but my motivation is quite bipolar. One day I am super motivated to get my crap together, then the next day, all I want is a cheeseburger from McDonalds and some delicious golden French fries. (French fries are my weakness!) I hope that keeping track of my progress will help me stick with it, because I don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone else who is rooting for me.
Well…here goes nothing.