Back from the dead AGAIN!! :)

Hey everyone...I am indeed back from the dead. Lol. Forgive me for being gone for such a long time, but a lot of things have come up lately. The biggest thing I can’t really talk about, but it was a family crisis/emergency but as of right now everything with that looks great. If you are reading this, I know you can do it. I love you and I am so proud of what you have been accomplishing. On another note, a more sad and depressing note. Tyler and I had another miscarriage, and that is another reason why I haven’t been blogging. I didn’t really want to tell anyone, but I feel it is necessary. I am still really bummed about it, and sometimes get pretty depressed thinking about it. It seems like everyone is having babies right now, and I guess I wanted to be in the crowd of moms-to-be. My rationalized part of my brain keeps telling me that it will indeed happen, but right now is just not my time, while the other part is screaming WHY?! Watching the news, and watching all these horrible mothers, killing and hurting their children makes me want to vomit. All I want is to be a wonderful mom to my children, and every time my journey to motherhood gets cut short. But people continue to have kids, and either neglect them, hurt or even kill them. It’s ridiculous. But I MUST think rationally to keep me sane. So we will just stick with the “My time will come” shpeal. Ok? Ok.
But on a brighter note, something awesome may be in the works, but I am not going to get my hopes super high, even though its hard not to. My friend has had a wonderful opportunity, and has invited me along for the designing ride. Now let’s just hope it all works out. I just can’t help but thinking that this may be my break. So I can fix up my house, get a more reliable car, (preferably a RED Kia Soul. Those are just so cute to me) Pay a couple things off, get my boutique actually going, (You can’t acquire funds without funds spent, and I have NONE lol) finally get the salon in my house, and take my nail class. So keep me in your prayers that all of this goes well.
I have also been doing a lot of thinking of what I want to be when I grow up. I am going to be 23 years old this year and I find it pathetic that I am doing nothing to pursue my career, so in the spring I am going to start going to school, and I can not be more frightened. I feel like a kid going to kindergarten. “What if nobody likes me?” starts popping in my head. I AM SCARED. I want to be a teacher, so I am going to be taking all those classes along with psychology so later on when I finish my 6-8 years of college I can work to help out kids and families. BUT I also want to try Medical Coding, which is only an associate’s degree, so Medical Terminology, Medical Anatomy & Physiology and/or Bio-Med here I come. I am like being pulled in 2 separate directions though, so I am going to have some rough decisions ahead of me. I’ve always thought it would be so much fun to be a teacher and a coach softball or basketball or BOTH! How fun would that be. AND have summers off! How awesome! Wish me luck with that too, because I am positive I will need it.
Here is another thing I am going to do ASAP. I am going to make another blog page, so I will have 3. I know what you are thinking, “You don’t even write in your ONE blog, why would you have three?” I want to separate them into categories. My LIFE blog, My WEIGHT LOSS blog AKA Diaries of a Fed Up Fat Girl, and craft blog, I haven’t come up with a name yet. But I have been doing SO MANY craft things that I need to. Starting a blog has totally brought out the crafter in me, and now I have so many things in my garage that I have gotten/bought that are going to become AWESOME artsy stuff. Tyler calls me a hoarder lol. But I can’t resist things that are $1 that if were painted a fun crazy color, would be the CUTEST thing ever. So I think I am going to do it, and start a crafting blog. No if I can just think of a cute name.
Speaking of crafting...well and my Boutique...Everyone who is having baby boys, I am going to make you something for them. :) I just need to do a little sewing and they will be done. I just don't have a sewing machine at the moment. But I will get them done, because they are SUPER CUTE!!

I also can’t help but think of who is reading these. I only have like 5 followers lol. How pathetic haha… Oh Well..HEY GUYS!!! :)