Hello! Welcome to my new blog Diary of a Fed Up Fat Girl! In this blog I will share with you my most personal information, (*cough my weight cough*) I’m going to list my start weight, and my goal weight, and what I am doing each day as far as meals, and workouts. I am really dreading putting all my numbers out there, but I think that if everyone knows then I try even harder to be an inspiration to the people who are in the same boat as I am. But I would like to say that I am NOT in ANY WAY doing this to please anyone except myself. I know that my loving husband loves me no matter what I look like or what I weigh. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I dropped 85 pounds. ;) I hope that anyone visiting this blog is there to cheer me on as I take my life back, one pound at a time!
Let me tell you a little bit about my weight throughout my life. I came from a family who has never had any weight issues. My mom is tiny and probably weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet, and my dad is small too. My mom is about 5’4 and my dad is 5’9. My brothers and I are meant to be just little things, but I am the ugly duckling. From the time I was born till about 14 I was skinny and fitted in well with my brothers. Both of them look like they could use a few cheeseburgers. (love you guys) Me on the other hand am one cheeseburger way from holy sh*t. Anyway, I have always been way into sports, and have played sports since I was about 6. I started tumbling when I was about 8 years old for about 4-5 years. I learned fast and within a few classes I could do a back-handspring by myself, and just went up from there. Tumbling made me super strong and super muscular. I was a machine. When I got up to a really high level, requiring me to do double backs was right around the time when Mat The Cat broke his neck and was paralyzed. My dad was super scared that I was going to do the same thing. One day I was on the double mini (the trampoline in power tumbling) and I was practicing my pass for the upcoming competition. My pass was branny on double back off. (for those of you who don’t know the lingo, you run and jump on the double mini, do a front flip with a half twist, and when you land that, you immediately do a double back flip off and land on the mat behind the double mini, trying not to take any steps) It’s better to just watch, then you would understand. Anyway, to practice you do what is called a TIMER. Branny on and do just a single back flip off, as high as you can go to prep for your double. I didn’t hear my coach say timer and I went to do my double, and in the middle of the air, panicked and landed on my neck. The very next week I quit. Now I bet you are wondering why I told you that. I blame my quitting tumbling to the downfall of my weight. That is probably the one thing in my life that I regret. After I quit tumbling I started getting tubby. When I got to Jr. High, I played softball and since none of my friends drove, we walked EVERYWHERE! So I was little then. Then I get to high school. All my friends and I shared clothes. While we all wore like size 5 pants, I ALWAYS weighed more than they did. When they were weighing in at like 115-120, I weighed like 140. But we LOOKED the same. So basically I’m a muscly (I know that isn’t a word) girl. So I will always weigh more than what I look like a weigh. Anyways, when I got booted from the softball team my junior year, it sucked. I need sports. I enjoy pretty much every sport, but tumbling and softball are my #1’s. When I couldn’t do either of them, is when my weight started to pack on. My junior year in high school is when I got with my husband. We got together on November 8th 2004 (and have been going strong ever since!!) and you know most girls gain weight when they get comfortable with a relationship. I gained weight like crazy. When I started my senior year I enrolled in Cosmetology school at Stacey’s and graduated the May of 2007. Tyler and I decided to get married the next year on May 31st of 2008, and I knew I had to do something about my weight. I was NOT going to be a heffer for my own wedding. So June 1st is when I went to the doctor and got prescribed Phentermine. The doctor told me that the only reason he would prescribe me that is if I went through a whole lifestyle change. No pop, no fast food. No cheese burgers, no chicken nuggets from McDonalds with sweet and sour sauce and ranch mixed together. Man it was so tough, but let me just tell you, that stuff worked like a champ! And I stuck to my diet because I had determination! My starting weight when I went to the doctor was 197, and by November I weighed 155 (that sounds fat still, but I was in a size 7. What I would do to get there again, wait I’m exploiting my weight for everyone to see. Now that is determination lol) I lost 42 pounds! And I looked good! I mean, I had so much confidence, I was on cloud nine. I was all skinny, planning my wedding, trying on dresses, loving life. Then I got married. *DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN* lol. I stopped taking the Phentermine and BAM! Hello fat, how are you? I gained everything back PLUS SOME! *insert gagging noise here* Now here I am today just over 2 years later and I am DONE being the fat one.
I’m just DONE. I don’t even know how to put it. (this is where I rant on what I hate about being this way)
*I’m so sick of being made fun of.
*I’m so sick of being the fat wife/sister/daughter/friend
*I’m sick of not having any clothes
*I’m sick of ALWAYS pulling my pants up because I don’t try things on before I buy them.
*I’m sick of wearing freaking T shirts ALL THE TIME.
*I’m sick of wearing PANTS. EVEN IN THE SUMMER TIME.
*I’m sick of caring about what people think of me.
*I’m sick of not being able to walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to die
*I’m sick of looking at myself and wanting to puke.
*I’m sick of not being able to wear the things/styles of clothes I want
*I’m sick of thinking that I am just a large, but that still doesn’t fit in some cases.
*I’m sick of my gi-normous boobs, (no humor intended)
*I’m sick of not being able to cut my hair the way I want to, because I’m
afraid of looking even more fat.
*I’m sick putting my career on hold because I’m afraid to go to school.
I’m really actually quite excited to get this blog started! I’ve been telling myself for about a year now that I was going to start working out again and get skinny, but my motivation is quite bipolar. One day I am super motivated to get my crap together, then the next day, all I want is a cheeseburger from McDonalds and some delicious golden French fries. (French fries are my weakness!) I hope that keeping track of my progress will help me stick with it, because I don’t want to disappoint myself or anyone else who is rooting for me.
Well…here goes nothing.
