FAILED...

Well, I am embarrassed to say that I am going to be putting off my diet till January. I was on the diet for 4 days and lost 3.5 pounds. BUT, I am NOT mentally and physically prepared to be on a diet that is so strict, especially around the holidays. But I will say that I will eat healthy and exercise when I get the chance. I do feel like a failure though, but all I can say is nobody felt what I felt while I was on this diet. After I got sick this morning, which I believe is from the diet, and my emotions, and just not being ready at all, I have decided that I am not GIVING UP on the diet, just simply postponing it till the new year. I have a bunch of reading to do to prepare myself for when the time comes, so come January, I am going to KILL IT. & I will have no holidays to get in my way, except Valentines Day, BUT I will be on a break. The Diet is kind of like the HCG Diet, but with more calories, and no HCG drops. So the schedule is 45 days on 2 weeks off. So I hope that all of my fans aren't disappointed in me. I just feel like I am not MENTALLY ready for a diet like that. But that doesn't mean I am going to eat like total SHIZ till January. Simply smaller portions, no fast food, and no pop.

The first day of the rest of my life.

Hello friends. Its been a little while since I have wrote in this blog, and I have been meaning to write in it for the past few days but we haven’t been home much. But I am writing today to tell you something exciting! And no I am not pregnant. I have been talking to a nutritionist for the past 2-3 weeks and have been attending seminars on weight loss, and I am ready. Today is the last day of my old life, and Tomorrow is the first day of my new and healthy life. That’s right, I am dieting again. But this time I WILL stick with it and get to my goal weight. I have a lot of weight to lose, and I am on a one way track to achieving my goal, and NOBODY is going to stop me. I have realized my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to dieting, and after a lot of reading and mentally preparing, I am doing it. Now I just need some help from everyone else to keep me motivated. I’m starting out with a 1500 calorie diet and exercise whenever I can, and yes cleaning counts lol.
I have put everything behind me, including my failed attempts in losing weight, miscarriages, and negative people. So I am going to enjoy my last day of nasty eating, because from tomorrow till I reach my goal, I am not going to let anything stop me.
I am debating on weighing myself and posting or not, I will probably start doing that when I see some results, so I don’t feel like a freaking idiot. Lol. I have decided that I need to lose weight for a number of reasons, not just because of my health, and my urge to become a mom.
I have become someone that I don’t like. If anyone knows me personally, knows that I absolutely LOVE softball. I have played softball for forever, and now I am quitting my co-ed team because I am embarrassed. I SUCK NOW! Not only do I suck, I can’t run fast anymore, I can’t hit worth of crap, I get tired just running to my position, which is third…a whopping 20 feet away.
I have become clumsy…Like I fall all the time. I am coordinated, and coordinated people don’t do that. But I think my weight throws me off.
I don’t like to go anywhere because of the way I look, nope, no movies, no dates with my husband, no sledding, no picnics, no walks with Titan, no swimming (definitely no swimming).
I am just sick of it. I mean I know that I have self confidence issues, but the only way for me to fix that, is to lose the weight and get in shape. So skinny Jaimie, here I come, I know you have a ton of cute clothes waiting for me when I get there. I look at them every day and beat myself up for letting myself go, but NOT ANYMORE!
Tomorrow I will make sure to blog and tell you how I am feeling on my first day of the rest of my life! :)
Fed up fat girl, signing out!